Someone in the family wanted some particular poem of Faiz Ahmad Faiz. I handed the book, nuskha hai wafa, the only book of his poetry I have here.  But while looking for this I got Browning.  So handed the book , and myself  started reading his   “Last Ride To-gather”.

I didn’t enjoy it as much as I did back in university days.  Some lines suggest that he is – perhaps – dying and that is the reason he has requested a last ride.

Can I call it morbid? nah, I cannot.  I take it more like a metaphor.

Words are not always what we read and think they are. They sometimes deceive – living deep inside their own shell – deep down somewhere,  and not always saying  the same thing. Every word a mystery!  So this poem is not what I read. Once written, maybe even the Poet had no control to contain it.

Just a thought!

Feb, 15,2013

Our Sand Hill cranes are becoming demanding by the hour. Their feeder was filled in the morning and now at 1:45 pm, they are standing outside my glass door staring at me. I mean here are these two big birds looking at me without a blink even! very disconcerting !!  Cannot think – brain has stopped working – have to stop writing – go out and fill the bird feeder again. Why they are so demanding?

Feb,17,2013

What are you doing? he asked.

I just had a bath and now am sitting here in the sun, drying my hair.

I am glad that ‘dhoop’ is female.

hunh? what kind of talk is that?

Feb, 19, 2013

“You should have a heart in order to feel other people’s heart.”     “Flaubert”      Wise guy, things never change. What was then, is now too.

Feb 22, 2013

I learned a valuable lesson.

If you want to score some points to boost your ego, to impress your listeners or whatever..  then engage the person sitting across you in a nice and polite chit chat nice sugar tasting talk, heap the praise in truck loads – no matter deserving or not – like doing  it or not, just keep doing it. Just remember that you are doing this for you, yourself. You keep in focus just one thing. You are serving yourself. So being nice is just establishing you as a nice guy in the eyes of your friend across you.

Is the person totally floored by your charm? If so, then take the opportunity. Pounce on the poor gullible and bash him with your onslaught of verbal missiles. Make it so intense that the poor soul has no way of escaping the situation.

Now when you see  bewilderment on his face, in his voice , a pasty smile –  stop, lean back and gloat. You have scored successfully !!

Feb 23, 2013

Strange ! how one negative situation helps solve another negative situation.

Problem was or is that I had been shut out.  I take myself an educated, intelligent person. I know how to hold a conversation. I love literature, read whatever I can get my hands on and I love interaction,  exchange  of  ideas, appreciating viewpoints, all that sensible grown up people do. Talking nicely, discussing seriously, spending a few quality moments to-gather. What is wrong in that?

Gender has never been a problem  for me. I just think  ‘friend’  That is all. You certainly would feel affinity with some but it is never threatening in any sense of the word. But when I am not ‘let in’ on gender basis, I feel rejected, ignored, stumped.

What a horrible, horrible feeling!

Feb, 24,2013

On Saturday, we had a wonderful day at the beaches.

My brother in Sussex called. Wants me to come visit him in summer.  I ‘ll see.