angst

deep inside the house the girls are laughing. peal after peal of their lovely laughter. they are playing house. one is pretending to be mama and the other one is baba – the father and they are also their own children. i am sitting in the patio. in fact i am sitting in the back and they are in the front portion of the house. i am waiting for the namaz time and after that – i don’t know what i would like to do. watch ‘lost’ ? no, we always record our favorite program to watch later on without the commercials.

watch the news? which is always the same. one trying to outdo the other, exaggerated expressions high pitched voices, know alls feeding people on their masala – dish.

or read the magazine ‘vegetarian’ i received in the mail today. we are trying to change our eating habits. no red meat at all. lots of vegetables and fruits. beans and lentils are my favorite. i can eat a bowl of rice with beans and lentils and a little bit of hot chutney on the side, any day. but … i think i am not yet ready to check this magazine out. the truth is i am not ready for anything. i just want to sit here an relax, watch the planes flying low to land or soaring in the evening sky, on to their faraway destinations.

little girls are playing house. they have all their future ahead of them. everything is new, so interesting and amazing. so much to know to have to give to share! they are playing house and learning. time flies. before they know it, they’ll be in the midst of it.
i know it. because i was also there once. we all start the same way and we all go to the back patio to rest and relax with angst nibbling at our hearts.

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