visitation

Why did you leave me? Asked my son
I looked at him and saw the pain
Sitting heavy like a granite slab
On a sad little chest

I wanted to say something but found the words missing
He looked at me and I at him, and still there were no words.
I was the one to look away, to look far outside the window
Wishing for a guide, a consumer report for some ready answers

But it was cold in the ice cream bar and cold outside the window
The rain was falling, smudging the edges; mist was all around.
All in all, it was a sad afternoon hushing every sound.
There are no words for heartache,
Come rain or mist or sunshine.

Why did I leave her? Or did I?
When did we stop loving each other? why love went sour between us?
Why visions blurred and silences sat down like heavy dust
Stifling every channel
Why empty spaces crept in.

I did not know what to tell my son
I had no ready answers.

I killed the love that once was; and killed a little boy’s dreams

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